Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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