Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
