you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
