I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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