just tell him i said nine months
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
