that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
