Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
