Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
