Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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