He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
pray to the hookup gods
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
