Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
