Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
