The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
