i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize