my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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