So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
