She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
