Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
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She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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