we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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