I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
