I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
