I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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