I love black thongs
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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