everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think I sprained my soul last night
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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