I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize