she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
