I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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