jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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