Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
