TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize