How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize