I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
