He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
