I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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