Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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