I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
