we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
