Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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