totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
