so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
