also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
