Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
