Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize
