i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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