You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
