I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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