now i know why i became what i already was.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
