Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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