fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
