I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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