Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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