I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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