i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
