Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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