I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
