But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
