u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
