The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
