Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
