I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He did a backflip because drugs
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