Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
where are my eyebrows?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
