Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
