am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
