I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
