I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
