allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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